The Five Seasons
by Amethyst2
Summary: Very short, kinda funny story about what R, S and Super S stand for, and how the dubbers would change them to be translingual.


So, the Sailor Scouts were having a meeting of sorts, when suddenly Luna comes racing in.  
  
"Bad news for the dub, guys," she said anxiously.  
  
"Since when," Lita said scornfully, "has the dub ever been ANYTHING but bad news?"  
  
"This is even worse," asserted the small cat. "You know how in Japan all the seasons had different letters?"  
  
"Sailor Moon, R, S, SuperS, Stars," Serena recited, ticking off on her fingers the seasons.  
  
"Well, apparently the Americans want names for their seasons as well." Luna cleared her throat. "They decided it was up to us to find names for them."  
  
"Why can't we just call them "R" and "S"?" Mina asked, looking confused. This expression was nothing new for the blonde, however.  
  
"The dubbers are afraid that it would confuse the American people. The kids would want to know what the letters stand for! They'd swamp DiC and Cloverway headquarters with letters whining, "What does R stand for? Why don't you explain it?" Their personnel would be busy writing back to all those poor, confused kids, and wouldn't have time to get any work done. Their stocks would drop in price, sending the whole American economy into a tailspin!" Luna took in a breath; she had started to turn blue.  
  
"What *does* "R" stand for?" Serena asked.   
  
Everyone stared at Luna, who was still recovering from her brief bout with asphyxiation. They waited for an answer. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited.  
  
"It doesn't stand for anything," Luna finally said. "It's just the name."  
  
"Ahhhh," everyone said in understanding.   
  
"But," Raye protested, wanting to get in her first line before end of the first page, "how are we going to decide what names the dub should give the seasons?"  
  
Amy chimed in, also wanting to get in a line before the page end. "Perhaps we should pool our intelligences and experience to try and formulate a system wherein an appropriate appellation may be utilized."  
  
Everyone stared open mouthed at her.  
  
"Maybe we should just try and come up with something appropriate to what the season is about," Luna explained.  
  
"Ahhhh," everyone sighed in understanding again.  
  
Raye pulled out some paper and pencils, and they started to brainstorm.  
  
"All right," Amy said, "season one is just called "Sailor Moon." We need to supplement that title with another designation to differentiate it from the other seasons."  
  
After a moment, Luna translated, "We need to add something so that people can tell the difference between that and the other seasons."  
  
"How about 'Sailor Moon: Serena's Destiny,'" suggested Serena.  
  
"How about- not." Raye sighed. "How about something like 'Sailor Moon: The Beginning.'"  
  
"How 'bout something without a colon?" Lita suggested. Amy, Mina and Luna all nodded vigorously.   
  
"How about Sailor Moon Destiny?" Amy asked. "After all, that's the main theme of the first season, right?"  
  
"Yes!" Serena got big hearts in her eyes. "It's where I first find out my destiny to be forever in love with the most handsomest, most bravest, most strongest guy in the entire world, Darien! And I find out that I'm a princess, and I'm destined to rule the world! And you guys find out… um, you guys find out…" Serena paused, trying to remember what they found out. "You guys find out that you're destined to protect me for the rest of eternity!"  
  
Everyone considered that for a moment.  
  
"How 'bout SM: The Chore?"  
"What d'ya think of "Sailor Moon: She doesn't deserve it.""  
"Lemme run this past you: Sailor Moon, the brat, becomes the most powerful person in the universe because she just happened to get killed at the right place and the right time."  
  
"Hey!" Serena protested, but the others were laughing.  
  
"Don't worry 'bout it, we still love you." Mina threw an arm around Serena's shoulders, blocking Raye from the blonde's view. Raye was mouthing, 'Maybe she does,' and jerking her thumb at Mina.  
  
"'Sailor Moon Destiny' it is!" Lita wrote it down. "Now, season R."  
  
"R is for Rini!" Serena suddenly remembered with a smile. Then she frowned. "Stupid little brat."  
  
"Wait a minute!" Amy jumped in. "The titles also have to be translingual."  
  
After a moment, Luna clarified it. "The names have to work in other languages. Rini is Chibi-Usa in Japan."  
  
"Ahhh." Another mass sigh of understanding.  
  
"How about Sailor Moon Return?" Mina suggested. "Because that's what mainly happens. Rini and Alan and Ann are all just parts of the story. The main thing that happens is that we all come back."  
  
"Good point." Lita said. Then, "Stop chewing on the pencil, Raye, that's disgusting."  
  
"But I'm trying to figure out why all the titles have to be "Sailor Moon" something! Why can't they be Sailor Soldiers Return, or something?"  
  
"Because the title of the show is Sailor Moon." Serena sighed. "Don't be a glory hog."  
  
"I wouldn't make any references to being pig-like, Serena. I can in no way compare to your relatives."  
  
After a few moments, Serena realized that was an insult. "HEY!"  
  
"'Return' it is, then," Lita interrupted. "Now, season S?"  
  
"Sailor Python and the Search For the Holy Grail," everyone said at once.  
  
"Are you suggesting coconuts mi-grate?" Lita asked indignantly in a horrible accent.  
  
"'Perhaps if two swallows carried it together!'" Mina quoted in a British accent.  
  
"Oh, STOP it!" Luna cried. "I haven't even seen that movie yet!"   
  
"What," Amy asked in a rough serious tone, surprising everyone, "is your favorite color?"   
  
"Blue. I mean ye-" Lita jumped out of her chair and pretended to fall to her doom.  
  
"STOP IT!" Luna yowled.   
  
"I always thought 'S' stood for 'super'," Mina said confusedly.  
  
"No, because the next season is SuperS, and SuperSuper sounds dumb," Amy reminded her.  
  
"What happens in 'S' again?" Serena asked.  
  
"Everyone is searching for pure heart crystals, we meet Uranus and Neptune, the Pink Terror becomes one of us, and Sailor Pluto does a bunch of unexplainable stuff." Lita sighed.   
  
"Oh yeah!" Mina snapped her fingers. "Sailor Saturn is discovered too!"  
  
"So, should it be Sailor Moon Saturn?" Serena asked.  
  
Raye snapped her fingers. "No! S stands for *soldier.* It will be Sailor Moon Soldiers. We get so many more in that season, you know."  
  
"Yeah!" Serena thought for a moment. It was obvious that it was quite an effort for her. "So that means…. Super S… will mean…." She muttered to herself, counted on her fingers, then asked, "Super… Super Soldiers?"  
  
"Time!" Raye looks at the stopwatch. "Fifteen seconds."  
  
"A new record!" Mina grinned.  
  
"Way to go Serena!" Lita patted her on the back.   
  
"Thanks!" Serena paused. "I think."  
  
"One season left." Raye grinned nastily. "Stars."  
  
"What happens in that season?" Mina asked, confused. "For some reason, my brain seems a bit foggy when we mention anything after Super Soldiers."  
  
"Me too," everyone echoed…  
  
Amy brought out her computer, and typed furiously. "According to this fansite, we defeat Nehelenia once and for all, and then a supreme evil known as Chaos manifests itself to us, as does another Pink Terror named Chibi-Chibi, and there are a new trio of Senshi to help battle the enemy with powers from the stars, and they are searching for a Princess Kayuu also known as Princess Fireball."   
  
Luna shrugged. "Don't even ask me to translate that."  
  
"New Scouts?" Raye had caught the gist of Amy's speech. "What do they look like?"  
  
Amy pulled up a picture of them, and all of them stared at it.  
  
"Well, I don't think we have to worry about *them* being dubbed," Lita said, shutting Amy's computer.  
  
"So we're finished then!" Luna said happily.  
  
"Finally!" everyone else said.  
  
  
A/N: That's it, that's the entire story. Stupid, huh? The only reason I wrote this is because "Sailor Python and the Holy Grail" is just a perfect line. Please flame me.  
  



End file.
